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When I was 14 years old, I made myself a promise. I knew exactly why I wanted: to get a university education. Instinctively I knew this goal would help me make choices toward creating a hopeful future. It was a time in my life when nothing was certain, and my world was falling apart. This would keep me going – and it did against all odds. For 13 years I knew exactly what I wanted. There was no plan B. And then i achieved my goal. With no idea what to do next.

 

In the ’90 of the last era, many young academic professionals like me embarked on a career in IT. Not because it was a lifelong dream but because we could. The economy was growing and building a corporate career held seemed a fast road to success which seemed to equal bigger, better and more of what could be achieved. Unconsciously, we expected nothing less than happiness whatever that meant. We were willing to work hard to play hard. As long as we were playing hard, it felt like we had it made somehow. But maybe there is more.

Could there be something more?

One of the side effects of the booming economy is that it doesn’t force you to think long and hard about what you really want in life beyond comfort in your daily life and maybe some peace and a few extra hours a day. We seldom take the time to think about what we really, really, really want. Below the surface it’s never about making more money, a bigger house, an extra vacation. We want those things because they serve a different purpose. One that seems more elusive but is there deep down inside of you. Whether a career is truly fulfilling and worth all the hard work, real time and dedication has to do with your true hidden desires that align with values and your purpose.

 

A large country house

Many of us have had dreams of envisaged our adult lives. We would find a cure for cancer, live in a large house in the countryside or by the sea, have a fairy tale wedding, travel the world. How often along the road, do we really update our plans for the future? Once standing on the threshold of that future we so longed for, do we take the time to enjoy the view, take it all in and mark a spot in the distance to head for? Usually, life and all that comes with it will have taken the lead and brought us elsewhere. We run into misfortune as well as unexpected opportunities.

 

Always the same destination

Until one day, we find ourselves at a crossroads. What if it really is about the journey and not the destination? How do you want to feel from now on? Who do you want to be for whom from now on?  What do you want your life to be about from now on? What if your destination is the same no matter which road you take? How do you want your journey to be?

 

The hardest question of all

If that is how it feels for you now, then pause for a moment. It all starts with one hard question:

“What do I really want?”

 

Think about the people in your life and who you want your relationships to be. Think about the impact you want to make in the world through your talents and skills. Think about what you admire about yourself and how you want to grow.

What do you really want?

 

The destination will take care of itself

If you are at a crossroads in your life, it is merely a pause for reflection about how you want to move forward, whether it be how you show up in life or how your new creation can make a difference. Make it about the journey and the destination will take care of itself.

If you would like to explore that question in depth to dive deeper into this transition phase you find yourself in, contact me.